The You Tube
by The Feisty Rogue
Summary: Sirius discovers You Tube. Remus has to deal with the repercussions.


_For the lovely Lizzy (SiriusMarauderFan). Merry Christmas my darling!_

* * *

"I'm not sorry!" Sirius announced, bursting into their bedroom.

Remus glanced up from the homework he was marking, and raised a brow.

In Sirius' hands was the laptop Harry had forced upon them last Christmas. Remus had a fair understanding of how it worked, but didn't really see the point. Sirius, however, had adored it.

"I put us on the tube," Sirius said with excitement. He scrambled onto the bed, having deposited the laptop onto Remus' legs. It was always heavier than he expected it to be, a solid, metal weight.

Remus frowned, and angled the screen so that he could see it. "What tube? Do you mean the underground?"

Sirius curled up next to him, obnoxiously close, or would have been if Remus hadn't loved him so much.

"No," he said, and hit the space bar. "The tube!"

On the screen a video began playing. It was of Remus, Sirius and James dropping water balloons on the Longbottoms, while Peter filmed them on his phone. Alice was chasing Sirius around with a can of whipped cream, trying to get well deserved revenge. Their kids, adults themselves now, stood to the side looking faintly embarrassed.

"I made an account; Maruders69, of course."

"Of course," Remus echoed.

"It's got views!" Sirius pointed to a little number next to the video. "150 of them! Didn't I always say I could do it better than those young punks?"

"You did," Remus said without thinking, mildly in shock. "Other people can see us?"

Sirius grinned. "Yeah. And comment too – look: 'lol wat a good prank m8'."

Remus rubbed at his eyes, and shook his head. "Right. Right. Well, uh, I'm glad for you, I guess? Are you going to put more videos on there?"

Sirius' grin was wicked. "Oh yes," he said.

Remus foresaw an endless amount of pranking in his immediate future. He sighed.

* * *

Following Sirius' initial success, he took to videoing everything. Remus mostly ignored it, or pulled funny faces whenever he found himself on camera. He had work – Hogwarts seemed to have a greater intake of children each successive year – and while he was happy to help Sirius pull the occasional prank, he wasn't the youthful twit he'd been twenty years ago, and couldn't dedicate his life to it.

James and Sirius more than made up for it. Sometimes, when they were in the middle of something truly stupid, smiling at their cameras all the while, Remus caught Peter's eye, and they shared a look of amused bewilderment. Still, it made Sirius happy, and that made Remus happy.

"Just make sure you keep all magic out of it," Remus absentmindedly reminded him.

"Boring!" Sirius would say, but he _was_ careful.

Then, one day, Anthony Perkins came into class, put down his wand, and stared intently at Remus.

Remus gazed back, mildly disturbed.

"You're Moony!" he declared. A hush fell over the class.

Remus blinked. "Only to my husband," he quipped. "To you, it's Professor Black."

"You are! From the Marauder's channel!"

"You watch that too?" Amy Abbott squealed. Immediately, the rest of the class began chiming in, a hubbub of noise that only grew louder despite his stern looks.

Eventually, with a huff, Remus drew his wand, and with a flick, cast a loud bang. The children jumped, then fell silent, looking at him with a mixture of guilt and intrigue.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, I am Moony on that daft You Tube channel that my husband runs. No, I will not answer any further questions about it."

Looking out upon a sea of disappointed faces only strengthened his resolve not to talk about it with them.

What did worry him, however, was where on earth they'd even seen the videos. Surely Sirius' channel wasn't actually that popular?

Surely not.

* * *

"I hear you had some trouble in your class this morning," a sly voice drawled.

Remus tensed, then forcibly relaxed, turning to face Draco Malfoy with a neutral expression upon his face.

Malfoy was smirking back at him, the insufferable little sod. However much Remus might have tried to preach peace and unity between houses while Harry had been at school with the boy, he'd felt like a hypocrite, for he couldn't actually stand the other man.

"A minor disturbance that was quickly resolved," Remus said, projecting a calm he didn't feel. "Nothing to trouble yourself over."

"As you say, Moony," Malfoy drawled, eyes glinting with malicious humour. "Well, we best get to lunch, else we'll be late. Wouldn't want to set a bad example, after all."

He strode away, cloaking billowing in such a way that Remus was certain Snape had taught a healthy dose of dramatics alongside potions to his successor.

"Bad example," Remus muttered. His wand was a reassuring weight against his hip, and his fingers itched to use it as he stared at Malfoy's retreating back. "I'll show him bad example."

"Talking to yourself?"

Remus bit back a groan. "Headmistress, how are you today?"

McGonagall looked to be as spry as ever, and a faint smile danced about her lips. "How many times must I ask you to call me Minerva?"

"At least once more," Remus answered solemnly.

McGonagall scoffed, and took his arm. He had no option but to fall into pace with her as they walked toward the Great Hall.

"The internet's a fairly foreign concept to me, I must admit," McGonagall said, obviously unashamed to admit it. "But it seems that Sirius and James, and yourself to some extent, are 'internet famous'. Or rather, infamous."

"Unfortunately," Remus said. He was beginning to think that he ought to have paid more attention to Sirius' online adventures.

McGonagall patted the back of his hand, and turned to him with a fond look in her eye.

"Why anyone thought you four would quit getting up to mischief the moment you left school, I don't know. Now, take the rest of the day – I've cleared your classes. I'm sure you're dying to see Mr Black." She gazed at him over her spectacles, lips pursed. "And please do let him know that should he ever think about dropping water balloons upon me I know several unpleasant ways to transfigure him into a toad, or some other impotent creature."

Remus smiled weakly. "Yes Headmistress."

For a moment, he'd felt as if he was back at school, the prefect attempting to coral his troublesome friends into submission.

"Very good. Off you go then," McGonagall said, and waved him away.

* * *

Sirius was nowhere to be found when Remus returned home. The laptop, however, was sitting innocently upon their shared desk. Remus glared at it.

"This is all your fault," he informed it, then sighed. He opened the laptop, loading the You Tube website. Harry had insisted they call it that, rather than the 'tube' Sirius had been so excited about the first time he'd added a video to it. The Marauder's channel was already logged in. He watched a few of the videos – and even found one of himself, snoring lightly while James and Sirius giggled, balancing household items upon him. Their most popular video had hundreds of thousands of views.

There was nothing for it.

Remus was going to have to make a You Tube.

There was something called 'live streaming' that would apparently allow him to post straight onto the website. Remus clicked the button, and stared at the little dot Harry had assured him was a camera. He cleared his throat.

"Uh, hello," he said. A little counter by the side of the video informed him that five people were watching already, and one person had commented; 'The illusive Moony!'.

"So, er, it's recently come to my attention that my husband has been making videos, and that you people out there are actually watching them. Some of you are even my students, as I discovered only today."

Remus' phone began to ring. He checked the caller ID – it was Sirius.

"One second," he told the camera, and picked up the phone.

"Moony!" Sirius bellowed. "Are you on our You Tube account?"

Remus glanced at the computer warily. "Yeah?"

Sirius began cackling, the phone distorting his laughter. "Brilliant. This is just brilliant! Tell them all hello from Padfoot."

"Padfoot says hello," Remus informed the computer uncertainly. Almost immediately, several notifications began popping up. 'Say hello back!' 'Hi Moony and Padfoot!' 'Are you going to have phone sex now?'

Remus blinked at the last one. "Phone sex?" he said incredulously. "Pads, someone wants to know if we're having phone sex. What have you been telling these people?"

There was a worrying silence on the other end of the phone. "Nothing…" Sirius said, drawing out the word. "Just that you're handsome, and funny, and clever, and great in bed."

Remus sighed. "My students watch this."

Sirius snorted. "Yeah. I know."

Someone with the username Perkins2003 commented 'Hi Professor Lupin!'.

Remus ignored it. He had to interact with his students enough while he taught them.

There was a clatter of the front door opening, and Sirius burst into their room moments later. He waved at the camera before planting a sloppy kiss on Remus' cheek.

"You are such a dog," Remus growled, shoving him away, and hanging up their phone call.

Sirius smirked. "Hell yeah I am." He winked at the screen. "Bye for now, folks."

He tapped something on the laptop, and the video shut down.

"I wasn't finished!" Remus exclaimed, but laughed when Sirius sat on his lap, and planted another sloppy kiss upon him.

"I've recently discovered I don't like sharing you with the rest of the world," Sirius whispered.

Remus scoffed, even as he laughed. "You sod, get off me. You're in trouble! Why didn't you ever tell me how famous the channel was?"

Sirius pouted, and didn't move an inch. "Moony. Our You Tube channel is super famous and everyone we know watches it."

Remus glared at him. Sirius stared back, a hopeful expression upon his face.

"Oh fine," Remus grumbled, and kissed him.

"Love you, Moony," Sirius said into the kiss.

"I love you too, Pads, you silly sod."

* * *

 _Yule Ball: 9. Write about a humorous occasion._

 _Christmas at the Movies: 22. Write about being excited by something._

 _Jingle Bell Song Challenge: 14. (character) Sirius Black_

 _Word count: 1689_


End file.
